How to take the high road… when you’d rather be passive aggressive!
After trying to navigate a frustrating situation, I wanted to write about how to take the high road, when you’d really rather not.
Unfortunately, it’s not always easy. Some people think that as a spiritual person, you shouldn’t feel the urge to act out against someone who has hurt you. That is not true at all; in fact you may find that every time you find yourself in a situation that has you feeling upset with someone, it is a choice you have to make rather than an instinctive thing.
As someone who considers herself a spiritual person, it can be difficult for me to accept that I feel this way sometimes. What I have had to learn and accept though, is that I don’t need to feel bad or judge myself for feeling like reacting negatively.
It’s a Journey
When you’re on a spiritual journey, there aren’t levels for achievements, or an end point. Which means that you’re always learning and growing. And because you’re always learning and growing, things that happen still affect us in a very similar way. The difference is that when you’re dealing with something in a spiritual way, you are probably more thoughtful and perhaps practised at acting from a higher vibration.
Am I On the High Road?
At the moment, I’m at the point where my first instinct can still be to respond to hurt with a passive aggressive message to whoever I feel hurt me. Often, I write out a message, feeling such a strong desire to release that hurt energy into the Universe- aimed at the person in question.
A Letter of Anger
When I put pen to paper, (or my hands to the keyboard) my first message is undoubtedly, unnecessarily vicious. But the first message won’t feel quite right, so I don’t send it. After the first draft, comes a second- sometimes kinder, sometimes harsher.
A Letter a Little More Loving
Eventually, over the process of writing and re-writing, my tone becomes calmer, more peaceful and loving.
To Send or Not to Send
At this point, when my final draft of the letter is ready, I begin to question whether I should actually send it. Whether I do or not depends on the situation; if I feel silence is better, then I express gratitude for the process that helped me let it go without causing any more difficulties. Other times, I decide that the honesty is best, and knowing that I have expressed what I need to say in the kindest, most loving way I can- I hit send.
Often I do not receive replies to these letters, but that is not my intent when sending them. It is my hope that they are helpful, maybe encourage reflection and awareness the effect actions can have.
Deciding Whether to Send
In order to decide, I allow myself to be guided by my intuition. A method I like to use, is writing to my spirit guides, my higher self or the Universe asking for guidance. Then I’ll meditate and allow time for an answer to come to me and then trust that it is the right one.
Regardless of whether or not I choose to send the message, I always bring myself to a calm state where I can feel what I need to, and then let it go.
The ‘High Road’
I believe that taking the ‘high road’ in situations where I feel angered or hurt by someone, is just taking the time and space to respond from a place you feel calm. Trying to return to a state of peace and higher vibration, can allow you to respond in a more loving way.
While taking the high road doesn’t guarantee that the other person will respond any better, the idea is that you are able to respond from a positive place. If you choose to respond in a negative way, with the intention to hurt or argue or cause someone the same upset you feel, you are holding that in your own energy. You are the one who will be most affected by that, so while it may not feel like something you initially want to do, know that you are doing the best thing for everyone involved when you take the high road.